Scratchbook

Das Leben ist immer anders als die Realität.

Nochmals über das Tagebuchschreiben

Claude, 5. Oktober 2012, 23:10 Uhr

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Das hat eine schöne Lawine losgetreten, damals, als ich diesen Artikel über das Tagebuchschreiben im Spick las. Ein Feuer entzündet hat er in mir. Nachdem ich diese wunderbar illustrierten Beispieltagebücher gesehen hatte, wusste ich einfach: „Ey, sowas brauch ich auch.“

So habe ich ein, zwei analoge Tagebüchlein vollgeschrieben. Dann für ein paar Jahre die Motivation verloren.
Dann wieder angefangen.
Und wieder ist es versandet.

Als ich dann aber im 2. Lehrjahr ein Webtagebuch begonnen hatte, kam ich nicht mehr davon los. Es sollte das Forum ablösen, das uns damals als Diskussionsplattform diente. Beiträge sollten chronologisch angeordnet werden, nicht mehr nach «Threads» – so dass jeder jeden neuen Beitrag sieht. Mehr an eine Zeitung angelehnt, mit dem Charme einer Schülerzeitung, wo jeder mitmachen konnte; inspiriert vom Typographiekurs der vorherigen Schule, abgeschaut von der Stadtzeitung. Serifenlose Titel, Fliesstext mit Serifen, Autor, Ort und Datum sollen nicht fehlen. So sah der erste Entwurf vom Scratchbook aus:

Ich war damals schampar fasziniert davon, wie PHP-Schleifen HTML-Code dynamisch erzeugen konnten. Wow!
Das alles entstand auf meinem Lehrlingsrechner, gstlehrpoww – GruppenSTationLEHRlingePrOzesseWarenWirtschaft. Schon damals habe ich darüber nachgedacht, das verteilte Systeme (technisch oder gesellschaftlich) eine tolle Sache sind. Schon damals habe ich Texte stehlen für eine gute Sache befunden. Schon damals hatte ich Banner geschaltet: Boykottiert die Musikindustrie! Um Informatik, Freizeit und Meinung soll es sich drehen. Und mit diesen beiden Zeichen hat alles angefangen:

<?

So fängt PHP Code an. Und so fing auch meine Programmiererlaufbahn an. Ein antikes Stück Code. Aber jeder fängt mal an.
Ich wollte eine verteilte Wissensdatenbank für Lehrlinge erstellen; damit wir unsere Arbeitsbücher elektronisch pflegen und als PDF-Download ziehen können. Aber daraus wurde nichts. Es blieb beim Tagebuch.

Experimentell war das schon immer. Entwickelt wurde direkt auf dem Server; ich blendete eine «Achtung wackelig» Meldung ein; Google macht das ja auch so (aka Beta). Mein Mobiltelefon konnte plötzlich Fotos an eine E-Mail Adresse schicken; und Schwupps, hatte ich auch gleich eine Schnittstelle dafür gebaut; die Snapshots waren geboren. Diese und viel anderer technischer Schnickschnack zierten unser liebgewonnenes Kritzelbuch.
Irgendwann habe ich dann das ganze auf WordPress gezügelt. Die Inhalte wurden plötzlich wichtiger als die Technik. Das Experiment läuft weiter. Weniger technisch, mehr textlich. Die Fremdbeiträge und Kommentare nahmen ab. Ich mache weiter. Tagebuch zum mitlesen. Als psychologisches Dampfablass-Ventil. Und als Sendestation im grossen, weiten Internet, um Bewusstsein zu schaffen. Bewusstsein für Dinge, die manche nicht merken. Dinge, die untergehen. Dinge, die hinterfragt und herausgefordert werden wollen.
Natürlich eignet es sich auch prima als Archiv für Texte. Ein Sammelsurium von tollen Dingen aus dem Internet, aus der Welt. Oder Erlebnissen, die als Erinnerung aufbewahrt werden. So wie die Tagebuchserie über das Boom-Festival.

Die Menschen gehen ans Boom, und finden im Internet wieder zusammen. So bekam ich folgende wunderbare Rückmeldung; und jetzt, wo ich die Boom-Tagebucheinträge und den Spick-Artikel übers Tagebuchschreiben nebeneinander lege, wird mir klar: Ich habe ein Tagebuch.

It had all components I find great in a diary and it kept me in excited reading it until the end. People don’t do this often, they just share photos in facebook and that’s that! Most wont bother, unless they have sheer pleasure in writing. Doing it means self-development, it is some sort of labor work, like making a dream diary (I do one, but written by hand!). World consumption culture is aligned with writing and yet it is not as well. A great percentage of livejournals were superseded by facebook.

Facebook, du scheisst mich an.

Nein – diese fuckingidiotengopferdammiarschlochhurensohnfacebook-Scheisse vernichtet Tagebücher!! Sie lässt die Leute nicht mehr über sich selbst nachdenken und beschäftigt sie mit sinnlosem Genichtsnutz. Wenn man sie fragt, was sie eigentlich so tun die ganze Zeit – „hmm, eigentlich nichts. Gefällt mir.“

Kein Tagebuch schreiben. Lieber schnell huschhusch ein Foto in dieses Fickbuch hochladen, teilen mit allen, gefällt mir, bumm ist die Luft duss. Wo bleibt der Tiefgang?

In der Welt da draussen. Wo es nur nach Quartalsabschlüssen tönt. Da frage ich mich oft, was das, was ich tue, für einen Wert hat. Jetzt habe ich eine Rückmeldung von einem Stranger erhalten. Tagebuchschreiben hat etwas mit Persönlichkeitsentwicklung zu tun.

These diaries are an attempt to map the unchartered regions that experience has given rise to in one’s life in transformative moments, describing the atmosphere and the setting, as well as the interactive details around one’s perceptions when such ‚initiations‘ and profound insights are taking place. These moments when the „peeling“ of the ’sensory deprivation layers‘ of current reality occurs, unblock the wall of „LIFE“ that had been formerly restricted. I know this makes sense to you because we see the world in similar ways. Beautiful.

Jetzt geht mir ein Licht auf. Tagebücher sind ganz individuelle, emotionale Artefakte des Menschen. Und ich tue das für mich. Für mich – allein. Ob das die Welt verändert, weiss ich nicht. Ich mach einfach mal. Mal schauen, was dann explodiert.
Es gibt hier keine Werbung. Und keine Google Analytics und so Gugus. Sondern Netzkultur. Erlebnisse. Experimente. Tiefgang. Aufmüpfig losrasseln und Rebellentum.

Ich wünschte mir mehr davon.

Mehr davon im Netz!

Schreibt eure eigenen Tagebücher.

Bitte.

Tagebuchschreiben

Claude, 28. September 2012, 13:49 Uhr

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Fürs Tagebuchschreiben braucht man kein extra Schreiblustiger oder Schreibgewaltiger zu sein. Tagebuchschreiben heisst auch nicht unbedingt: jeden Tag schreiben. Manchmal hat man (sich) viel zu sagen, manchmal ist Funkstille im Kopf. Manchmal ist einem gar nicht zum Schreiben zumute. Doch oft lohnt es sich, einen Anlauf zu nehmen und etwas zu Papier zu bringen, um es «loszuwerden».

Die leeren Blätter nehmen einfach alles auf, was dich beschäftigt, sei das nun deine Zukunft, ein böser Traum, ein Zaubertrick, ein Streit… Auf dem Papier darfst du mit deinen Bleistiftzähnen so richtig zubeissen, darfst ein ganz Garstiger sein oder ein ganz Listiger. Wenn du das Tage­buch dann wieder weglegst, bist du vielleicht ein erstaunlich Friedfertiger, und wer weiss, mit der Zeit wird aus dir sogar ein Schreibsüchtiger.
Es gibt ganz verschiedene Tagebuch-Formen. Das zeigen die Beispiele auf den folgenden Seiten.

[mehr…]

Boom 2012, Tag 5: MDMA

Claude, 16. August 2012, 23:05 Uhr

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Am Boom Festival gibt’s übrigens auch echte Raumschiffe. Der Propäller oben dreht, und natürlich sind die auch begeh- und benutzbar:

[mehr…]

Boom 2012, Tag 4: Erweitertes Bewusstsein, Teil 3

Claude, 15. August 2012, 00:50 Uhr

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Diesmal setze ich mich weiter vorne hin. Immerhin folgt jetzt gleich eine Diskussionsrunde mit dem Titel: „Building A Post Prohibition World: The Role Of Psychedelic Research, Transformational Festivals And Political Action“, mit Experten aus der psychedelischen Community und Forschung.

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Boom 2012, Tag 4: Erweitertes Bewusstsein, Teil 2

Claude, 13. August 2012, 23:05 Uhr

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Hunger. Ich muss mal was essen, auch wenn an diesem Tag die Vorträge solche Aktivitäten eigentlich nicht zulassen. So verzichte ich auf „The Future Of Psychoactive Traditional Plants In Western Society“ und mache mich auf die Suche nach meinen Schuhen. In vielen Zelten am Boom sind nur bare Füsse erwünscht.

Ich bemerke etwas. Da hat jemand zwei Kleber in meine Sandalen gesteckt:

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Boom 2012, Tag 4: Erweitertes Bewusstsein, Teil 1

Claude, 12. August 2012, 18:10 Uhr

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Heute ist mein Lieblingstag. Das Thema ist Expanded Consciousness. Die Liminal Village ist der Ort, wo Workshops und vor allem Vorträge stattfinden. Glücklicherweise befindet sich dieses grosse Zelt am nächsten zum Zeltplatz, so dass ich mit meinen angeschlagenen Füssen nicht weit laufen muss. Ausgerüstet mit Notizbuch, Fotokamera und MP3-Recorder setze ich mich hin. Noch sind nicht viele Leute da; viele kommen auch hierher wegen des Schattens, und um sich auszuruhen. Der erste Vortrag heisst „Contemporary Alchemy: A Jungian Perspective“.

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Boom 2012, Tag 3: Depression

Claude, 11. August 2012, 22:52 Uhr

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Ich muss zum Kosmicare. Nicht, dass ich noch welche Wirkungen verspüre. Das ist 100% verflogen. Aber ich mache mir Sorgen um Jack. Wir hatten uns während des Trips gestern getrennt. Und das war ein grosser Fehler. Wahrscheinlich war dies auch der Grund, warum mein Trip plötzlich diese andere Färbung annahm. Ich hoffe so sehr, dass er nicht etwas ähnliches erlebt hat wie ich. Hoffentlich geht es ihm gut. Es gibt zwei Möglichkeiten:

1. Er ist beim Kosmicare. Das bedeutet, sein Trip war schlecht.
2. Er ist nicht beim Kosmicare. Das bedeutet, sein Trip war so schlecht, dass er nicht mehr den Weg zum Kosmicare gefunden hat.

Fuck. Das ist wieder typisch, mein Verstand sieht die Situation tiefschwarz und malt den dicksten Teufel an die Wand.

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Boom 2012, Tag 2: Albert Hofmanns Gruselkabinett

Claude, 10. August 2012, 00:29 Uhr

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„Bis später“, haben sie noch gesagt; meine neu gewonnenen Freunde, die ich gestern kennengelernt habe. Und dann sind sie in der Menge verschwunden. Ob ich sie wiederfinde?

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Boom 2012, Tag 1: Einweihung des Dance Temple

Claude, 6. August 2012, 23:32 Uhr

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Zwei bunt geschmückte Drachen umrunden eine farbige Säule in der Mitte des Dance Temple und fauchen die Bühne an, welche nach Westen ausgerichtet ist – genau so, dass hinter ihr die Sonne untergeht. Sprinkleranlagen von oben und von der Säule sorgen für die nötige Kühlung in der Mittagshitze. Noch hindern uns Absperrbänder am Betreten des Tempels. Die letzten Vorbereitungen werden getroffen, der Sandboden wird ein letztes mal umgewälzt und geglättet.

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Boom Festival 2012 Tagebucheinträge

Claude, 5. August 2012, 16:40 Uhr

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Ich bin wieder zurück. Zurück aus der Zukunft; an einem Festival, wo neue Konzepte und Methoden ethischen Zusammenlebens und dem Umgang mit dem Planeten ausprobiert und diskutiert werden.

Zurück aus einer Reise durch alle Gefühle, Höhen und Tiefen, neuen Einsichten, bestärkter Kraft, mich selbst zu sein. Ich kehre zurück mit einem Rucksack voller Erfahrungen. Begleitet mich durch alle 7 Tage des Boom Festivals 2012.

Tag 0: Gelände erkunden

Tag 1: Einweihung des Dance Temple

Tag 2: Albert Hofmanns Gruselkabinett

Tag 3: Depression

Tag 4: Erweitertes Bewusstsein, Teil 1

Tag 4: Erweitertes Bewusstsein, Teil 2

Tag 4: Erweitertes Bewusstsein, Teil 3

Tag 5: MDMA

Tag 6: Der letzte Tag & Nachtleben

Tag 7: Abschied