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Das Leben ist immer anders als die Realität.

Die Welt in 20 Jahren

Claude, 31. März 2011, 17:39 Uhr

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So sieht die Welt in 20 Jahren aus:

  • Lady Gaga ist tot.
  • Es gibt Raumenergiekonverter für jeden Block.
  • Jedes Land ist unabhängig und hat einen eigenen König. Es gibt keine Zusammenschlüsse und Bünde mehr wie die EU oder UNO.
  • Monarchie ist nämlich was ganz feines, wenn das Volk hinter dem König steht. Keine langen sinnlosen Diskussionen zwischen einzelnen Politikern, sondern ein Herzmensch mit einer Philosophie/Vision, der sagt wo’s lang geht.
  • Passt der König dem Volk nicht mehr, zieht man entweder in ein anderes Land oder wählt einen neuen König.
  • Unternehmen arbeiten nicht mehr gegeneinander, sondern miteinander und ergänzen sich.
  • SAP und JVM werden in einen Hundezwinger gesperrt, wo sie hilflos mit Exceptions um sich schmeissen bis sie sterben.
  • Man gibt gerne Geld aus, weil man’s hat, und weil man etwas schönes in der Welt schaffen will.
  • Fähige Architekten bauen grosse, prunkvolle Tempelanlagen mit Baustil.
  • Es gibt mindestens zwei Sorten von Tempelanlagen:
  • Techniktempel aka Hackerspaces, wo sich kreative Köpfe versammeln und an Projekten werkeln – natürlich staatlich finanziert.
  • Einweihungstempel; wo die Mysterien des Universums gelehrt werden und nach der Frage auf die Antwort nach dem Leben, dem Universum und dem ganzen Rest gesucht wird. In diesen Tempeln werden auch Magier ausgebildet.
  • Graffiti ist Kunst und wird frei ausgelebt.
  • Jeder darf die Schulen besuchen, die er will. Steht man im Hackerspace vor einem Problem, besucht man genau die Weiterbildung, die man für die Lösung dieses Problems braucht.
  • Hackerspaces sind übrigens der neue Arbeitsmarkt. Unternehmen leihen sich dort die klugen Köpfe aus, die sie brauchen.
  • Es gibt Schwebeplattformen, auf denen man dann in der Stratosphäre mit dem Gleitschirm starten kann
  • Die Drachen feiern ihre Renaissance und leben unter den Menschen. Sie spucken Feuer, beschützen uns und lassen sich bereiten.
  • Nebst normalen Reisezentren gibt es zwei zusätzliche:
  • Ein intergalaktisches Reisezentrum, wo sich Heerscharen mutiger Helden treffen, um Hilferufen von anderen Planeten nachzugehen #Abenteuer
  • Das Reisezentrum innerer Welten, wo man mithilfe psychedelischer Substanzen Reisen in die Abgründe der eigenen Psyche und in die Tiefen der Seele unternimmt.
  • Ich habe ein eigenes Nullgravitationsraumschiff mit eigener Heimbasis. Ausgestattet mit einem präkognitiven Radar, Elementarkonverter, Hyperraumantrieb, Unsichtbarkeitsschild und allerlei feinem technischen Schnickschnack.
  • Mein Hausdrache lebt in seiner Drachenhöhle. Wir wohnen ja direkt am Rande eines aktiven Vulkans :), wo es schön warm ist.
  • Der Drache begleitet mich, wie auch gute Freunde, auf meinen Abenteuerreisen.
  • Es gibt viel zu bereisen, zu erforschen und zu entdecken. Andere Sternenvölker, experimentelle Technologien, ferne Welten.
  • Ich freue mich! Das wird episch!

Wie seht ihr die Welt in 20 Jahren? Helft mit, sie zu bauen!

Es beginnt im Kopf.

Unterschied Wirtschaftsuni und Schlachthof

Claude, 25. März 2011, 13:21 Uhr

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Was ist der Unterschied zwischen einer Wirtschaftsuni und einem Schlachthof?
Beim Schlachthof kommen Schweine rein und Würstchen raus.

OOA, OOD, OOP – OOOOPS, die OOP-Sekte!

Claude, 23. März 2011, 16:58 Uhr

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Neulich wurde ich angehauen:

Es sei „unschön“, wenn man statt

echo new publicAbstractFactoryImplementationSuperGeilesFormEndTag(void string args[]);

einfach das schreibt, was man möchte:

</form>

Liebe Softwarepäpste und Enterprisearschitekten. Hier kommt meine Philosophie:

  • Ich bin faul.
  • Die Maschine soll für mich arbeiten.
  • Und sie soll das möglichst schnell tun, ohne viel Ressourcen zu beanspruchen.
  • Andere Menschen mit weniger Erfahrung sollen das, was ich entwickelt habe, Verstehen und weiterentwickeln können.

Aber nein, so geht das doch nicht. Was wir brauchen, sind möglichst komplizierte Strukturen und Muster, die überhaupt niemand mehr ausser der Autor selbst checkt, damits softwarearchitektonisch schön ist und die Wartbarkeit erhöht wird.

Und wenn man dann genug Singletons mit der Abstract Factory instanziiert hat, welche die Facade durch den Proxy decoraten, damit der Mediator den Observer nicht beim visiten des Mementos dependency-injected, dann kann das Data Access Object mit dem Plugin via Null Object Flyweight durch das Composite iterieren und das emitten, was man eigentlich ursprünglich wollte:

Hello World.

Grässlich. Und dann wird mit einer „höheren Schulbildung“ geprahlt; einer Bildung, wo einem das Hirni dermassen durchgemantscht und verdreht wird, dass man am Schluss überhaupt nicht mehr weiss, wie man einen simplen Text ausgibt, weil man ja erst eine abstrakte Factory braucht, die man dann in einer Implementation per Dependency-Injection instanziieren kann, damit man sie dann durch alle DAO und SOA-Layer rauf und runter über tausend Schnittstellen via XML schicken kann, damit am Ende… Ääh, was wollten wir eigentlich?

Dass so eine Erdölraffinerie* ordentlich Speicher frisst, liegt auf der Hand. Und warten können’s nur solche, die auch so eine Hochbildung haben. Die OOP-Sekte.

Kein Wunder fühlen sich Enterprise-Senior-Supermega-OOP-Engineering-Technical-Softwarearchitekts gleich angepisst, wenn man ihr lange und mühsam erlerntes Hoheitsgebiet mit schnellen, schlanken, praktischen und gut funktionierenden Quickwins erschiesst. Die wollen ihren „Marktwert“ erhalten.

Nein. So will ich nicht enden. Entwurfsmuster als Inspiration ja, aber schlichte Ansätze als „unschön“ bezeichnen, nur weil’s halt grad nicht in ein Enterprise-Pattern passt: FFFUUUU.

* Erdölraffinerie (engl. Gas factory)
Unnötig komplexe Systementwürfe für relativ simple Probleme werden abwertend als Erdölraffinerien bezeichnet.

(Wikipedia: Anti-Patterns)

Was ist ein Exzentriker?

Claude, 21. März 2011, 23:23 Uhr

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…habe ich mich gefragt. Ich bin im vorherigen Text über dieses Wort gestossen:

Crowley war eine in jeder erdenklichen Weise exzentrische Persönlichkeit.

Was heisst dieses Wort? Sicher nichts Gutes, vermute ich mal…

Wikipedia. Exzentrizität. Exzentrizität als Verhalten, siehe Exzentriker

LOOLLOLOL. Ja aber Hallo und Hossassa!
Verdammt. Wieder so eine Liste, wo ich bei jedem Punkt einfach nur mit einem Schmunzeln nicken kann. 🙂

Der Nerd wieder mal etwas anders umschrieben:

Als Ergebnis der Untersuchung formulierte Weeks folgende Eigenschaften eines Exzentrikers:

  • unangepasst
  • kreativ
  • stark durch Neugier motiviert
  • idealistisch: mit dem Anspruch, die Welt zu verbessern und die Menschen in ihr glücklicher zu machen
  • betreibt beglückt ein oder mehrere Steckenpferde
  • ist sich von klein auf des Andersseins bewusst
  • intelligent
  • eigensinnig und freimütig; überzeugt, selbst richtig zu liegen und dass der Rest der Welt aus dem Tritt geraten ist
  • ohne Konkurrenzstreben, ohne Verlangen nach Anerkennung oder Bestätigung durch die Gesellschaft
  • ungewöhnliche Essgewohnheiten und Lebensführung
  • nicht sonderlich interessiert an den Ansichten oder der Gesellschaft anderer, ausgenommen zu dem Zweck, diese vom eigenen – richtigen – Standpunkt zu überzeugen
  • ausgestattet mit einem schelmischen Sinn für Humor
  • alleinstehend
  • gewöhnlich das älteste oder einzige Kind

Die ersten fünf Merkmale seien nahezu jedem Exzentriker zu eigen. Herausragendes Merkmal sei der Nonkonformismus. Das Vorkommen von Exzentrikern schätzt Weeks auf etwa 1:10000. Die Standard-Intelligenztests ergaben bei den Probanden einen durchschnittlichen IQ zwischen 115 und 120. Der gesundheitliche Zustand der Probanden sei weit überdurchschnittlich gewesen. Auch die Lebenserwartung von verstorbenen Menschen mit exzentrischer Persönlichkeit sei deutlich erhöht. Viele Probanden sähen jünger aus. Weeks führt das auf einen geringeren sozialen Stress zurück, der das Immunsystem begünstige. Nach seiner eigenen subjektiven Einschätzung wären Exzentriker meist glücklichere und fröhlichere Menschen.

Na toll. Vorkommen: 1:10’000.
Warum gibt es bloss so verdammt wenig Menschen von dieser Sorte?

Immerhin weiss ich jetzt wieder ein bisschen mehr, wer oder was ich bin. Hallo Schublade.

Aleister Crowley

Claude, 21. März 2011, 20:38 Uhr

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Okkultist, Kabbalist, Magier, Mystiker, Poet, Künstler, Künstler-Manager und Sozialkritiker. Er gilt als Begründer des modernen Satanismus.

In jungen Jahren wird Crowley Mitglied im Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn, einem esoterischen Orden, und befasst sich dort intensiv mit Magie und Drogen. Er ist fest entschlossen, die Droge zu finden, deren Gebrauch „die Tore öffnen wird zur Welt hinter dem Schleier der Dinge“. Er begann Eigen- und Fremdexperimente mit Opium, Kokain und Haschisch. Obwohl er‘ exzessiv seinen sexuellen Neigungen nachging, hielt er von Frauen wenig. „Am besten sollten sie zur Hintertür angeliefert werden, wie die Frühstücksmilch.“ Crowley war eine in jeder erdenklichen Weise exzentrische Persönlichkeit; wechselte häufig sein Pseudonym; kannte keine Hemmungen; warf sich in jedes Abenteuer; kannte keine Angst, wahnsinnig zu werden.

Es gibt keinen Gott außer dem Menschen.

  1. Der Mensch hat das Recht, nach seinem eigenen Gesetz zu leben: zu leben, wie er will, zu arbeiten, wie er will, zu spielen, wie er will, zu ruhen, wie er will, zu sterben, wann und wie er will.
  2. Der Mensch hat das Recht, zu essen, was er will, zu trinken, was er will, zu wohnen, wo er will, zu reisen auf dem Antlitz der Erde, wie er will.
  3. Der Mensch hat das Recht, zu denken, was er will, zu sagen, was er will, zu schreiben, was er will, zu zeichnen, malen, schnitzen, ätzen, gestalten und bauen, wie er will, sich zu bekleiden, wie er will.
  4. Der Mensch hat das Recht, zu lieben wie er will: ‚Auch erfüllet euch nach Willen in Liebe, wie ihr wollt, wann, wo und mit wem ihr wollt!‘ (AL, 1. 5 1.)
  5. Der Mensch hat das Recht, all diejenigen zu töten, die ihm diese Rechte zu nehmen suchen. ‚Die Sklaven sollen dienen.‘ (AL, II, 58.) ‚Liebe ist das Gesetz, Liebe unter Willen.‘ (AL, 1, 57.)

Nach Hack sind Crowley’s Ideen als eine Mischung aus neugnostischem Geheimwissen, altägyptischen Traditionselementen und indischem Geistesgut anzusehen. Letztlich ist der Mensch Gott dieser Welt und seinem Willen als einzigem Gesetz unterworfen. Das alte christliche Zeitalter mit seiner, nach Auffassung Crowley’s lebensverneinenden und weltfeindlichen, Religion sollte im neuen Zeitalter, dem „Äon des Horus“, das 1904 mit der „Offenbarung“ des Liber Al vel Legis beginnt, überwunden werden. Die wahren Freien, die Initiierten (d.h. Eingeweihten, Erleuchteten) sind die Vorkämpfer zur Befreiung der Welt aus den bisherigen Beschränkungen und Bindungen. In einem neuen Sittengesetz sollten die überkommenen Gesetze und Moralvorstellungen, die das Fortschreiten der Menschheit zu einer vollkommeneren Bewusstseinsstufe verhindern, aufgehoben werden.

(Quelle)

YEAH! Geile Siech.

Und da kommt mir einiges seeehr bekannt vor! 🙂

Die Biographie solcher aussergewöhnlicher Menschen macht mir Mut. Für viele ein „Spinner“, für mich ein echtes Vorbild.

Vor Ort zu Besuch bei Onkel Onyx

Claude, 20. März 2011, 13:34 Uhr

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Bewaffnet mit Ovosport und Salamisandwich machten wir uns gestern auf ein Schuelreisli zur Satellitenabhörstation Onyx in Leuk, um die Anlage mal vor Ort zu begutachten.

Onyx ist die Schweizer Version des US-amerikanischen Abhörsystems Echelon.

Onyx habe ich hier schon mal beschrieben: Onyx: Das schweizerische Echelon, und da nahm es den Betrieb auf: Die Schweiz sperrt die Lauscher auf – 24/7.

Im Radardom ist nicht etwa eine geheime Antenne, sondern einfach ein Besucherpavillon mit „Drück-mich-und-das-Video-spielt-ab“ Installationen drin. So halbwegs verlassen; die Hälfte der altertümlichen Videostationen ist nämlich defekt.

Die Antennen sind mit Leuk 1 bis Leuk (8?) durchnummeriert, wobei 1 die Hauptantenne zu sein scheint.


Eingangstor

Raumenergie

Claude, 18. März 2011, 21:39 Uhr

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(Video in voller Länge für Nexworld.tv-Mitglieder)

Voila, da haben wir’s: Raumenergie.

Der Raumenergiekonverter könnte ein rohstoffunabhängiger Energielieferant der Zukunft sein, doch ist es laut Turtur die „Gier“ der Energiekonzerne, die diese Energieform aktiv zu verhindern versuchen.

Ich bin also nicht der einzige mit der Ansicht, dass „Gier“ das Problem ist.

Mann jetzt fliegt mir aber der Deckel weg. Letzte Aussage im Video:

5000 Raumenergiepatente wurden aufgekauft – einfach nur damit sie in der Schublade verschwinden können.

Verdammte Scheisse. DIESE RATTENBASTARDE!! Es genügt nicht, dass Forschungen zu Alternativen blockiert, ignoriert, belächelt werden. NEIN, man kauft sich gleich alle Patente und macht eine Weiterforschung unmöglich!

Ich überlege mir, wen ich wohl als erstes über den Haufen schiessen werde, wenn ich mal eine Waffe besitze. Wir haben das ja gutgeheissen bei der letzten Abstimmung.

Rechtsanwälte. Bankster. Juristen. BWL-Schnösel. Diplomschleuderknallköpfe. Master of Advanced Fuck-You-All in Pissness Administration. Kapitalverbrecher. Einfach JEDER, der sich eine eine Krawatte um den Hals bindet und somit potentiell zeigt, dass er gerne in fremde Ärsche kriecht und sich auf Kosten anderer bereichert. Genau diese gierigen Arschlöcher, die nichts besseres können, als Patente aufkaufen, damit sie dann rumklagen können.

Dieser Abschaum erschafft nichts.

Er verhindert.

Pest, Blutzorn und Höllenfeuer!

Soo. Jetzt hab ich wieder mal gelästert. Hat gut getan. Prost ihr Wixer!

Null, nichts, gar nichts.

Claude, 16. März 2011, 21:06 Uhr

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Die Null (0) ist die einzige reelle Zahl, die weder positiv noch negativ ist. Bezüglich der Addition ist sie das neutrale Element. Die Zahl Null ist die Mächtigkeit der leeren Menge.

Wie verschieden kann man „nichts“ beschreiben?

0
Null
„“ (leerer Text)
nil
undefined
false
void

Ganz amüsant finde ich die Definition von undefinierten Variablen:

var nothing = undefined;

Ist die Variable nothing jetzt definiert oder nicht? Gopferdeckel…

Division durch 0 – redefined

12:4 = 3

Bei 12:0 lautet die Frage: »Wie oft muss man 0 von 12 abziehen um 0 zu erhalten?«

Antwort (Wikipedia):
Keine Anzahl von Operationen bringt das gewünschte Ergebnis.
Bei 0:0 lautet die Frage: »Wie oft muss man 0 von 0 abziehen um 0 zu erhalten?« Antwort: Jede beliebige (also keine eindeutige) Anzahl von Operationen bringt das gewünschte Ergebnis.

Aber…aber… Nein?

Wie oft muss ich 0 von 12 abziehen, um 0 zu erhalten?
Unendlich oft.

Also:

12:0 = ∞

Würd‘ sagen, wir müssen eine Dimension höher, um das Ergebnis herauszubekommen…

Rein theoretisch:

12:∞ = 0

Hat die Unendlichkeit eine Grösse? Ich ziehe unendlich viele „Nichtse“ von 12 ab. Unendlich viele Dinger, die möglicherweise unendlich klein sind. Ich ziehe die so oft ab, bis es 0 gibt. Hmm.

Das Problem der Gier

Claude, 16. März 2011, 16:52 Uhr

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Trittst im Fukushima daher,
Seh’ich dich im Strahlenmeer,
Dich, du Hocherhabener, Herrlicher!
Wenn der Alpenfirn sich rötet,
Betet, freie Schweizer, betet!

Uns fliegt alles um die Ohren. Es brennt. Es strahlt. Und es explodiert.

Wir könnten auch anders. Wir hätten Alternativen. Maschinen mit Wirkungsgrad > 1 sind schon lange erfunden.

Das Problem sind nicht die Atomkraftwerke. Das Problem ist die Energielobby, die damit Geld verdienen will.

Ich bin ein unabhängiger Wissenschaftler und habe eine Maschine erfunden, die Energie aus dem Äther gewinnt. Oder aus der Schwerkraft. Oder mit Wasser. Hier ist sie: Sie ist so kompakt, dass sie jeder bei sich im Keller aufstellen kann, und sie produziert Strom für einen ganzen Wohnblock.

Lobby: NEEIIIEIIIN!! Eine Maschine, die aus „nichts“ Strom produziert; das geht doch nicht, da verdienen wir kein Geld! Bringt den Mann zum Schweigen!

Sowas darf es nicht geben.
Und natürlich soll es auch niemand weiter versuchen. Wir kontrollieren alles. Lernt den Menschen an den Schulen, dass ein Wirkungsgrad > 1 nicht möglich ist, dass eine Maschine nicht mehr Energie produzieren kann, als man in sie hineinsteckt. Damit die Menschen gar nicht erst auf dumme Gedanken kommen. Und falls doch jemand auf dumme Gedanken gekommen ist und seine Ergebnisse im Internet veröffentlicht haben sollte: Sorgt dafür, dass seine Homepage zu den unglaubwürdigen Verschwörungsspinnerseiten zählt, die sowieso Saich erzählen und man soll ja nicht alles glauben was im Internet steht.

Wir können auch ohne Atomkraftwerke Strom produzieren. Mit Wasserkraft – verbauen wir einfach Flüsse und nehmen Lebensräume weg. Oder mit Kohlekraft – verdrecken noch ein bisschen die Luft.

Aber auf keinen Fall soll es Maschinen geben, die von sich aus Strom erzeugen und die jeder bei sich zuhause stehen haben kann.

Wir sind die Mächtigen. Wir machen den Strom, egal was es für Auswirkungen auf die Umwelt hat. Und ihr habt ihn gefälligst von uns zu beziehen.

Sonnenuhren

Claude, 15. März 2011, 21:24 Uhr

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Die Sonne scheint. Es ist zwei Uhr.

Es wird Abend. Die Sonne geht unter. Wir haben keine Zeit mehr.

Es ist Nacht. Das Ticken der Sonnenuhr hallt in der Finsternis wieder.