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1. You sit right next to a window but you still just look at your ForecastFox icon to see what it’s like outside.

2. You fumble with the TV remote for a minute before remembering that you can’t open another channel in a new tab.

3. Everybody else says „Google it“ now, but in addition you can also Yahoo it, Wiki it, and eBay it. [mehr…]

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Chaosradio: CTV061 Wir können alles. Außer hochdeutsch.

Wo sie recht haben, haben sie recht.
Und die Scheissbonzen? Grossmäuler? Wirtschaftsheinis? Benutzerfreundlichkeits-Vermassler? Business Consulting Manager von SAP labern und labern und labern – ohne etwas zu sagen!

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Jawohl, zurückspulen. Mit dem DVD-Rewinder.
Frei nach dem Motto: New Stuss for us.

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Nach dem schockierenden Amoklauf von Emsdetten fragen sich nicht nur Politiker nach den Ursachen. Ich jedoch frage nicht mehr nach den Ursachen, sondern habe sie dingfest gemacht. Schuld ist der Brotkonsum. Wie sich herausgestellt hat, war Sebastian B. ein bekennender Brotkonsument. Mehrmals pro Woche konsumierte er Brot. Wer fühlt sich jetzt nicht an Robert Steinhäuser, den Amokläufer von Erfurt erinnert? Auch er war ein starker Brotkonsument. Wie die Polizei feststellte, konsumierte er an manchen Tagen sogar mehrmals Brot. Diese Zusammenhänge erkennend, machte ich mich auf die Recherche im Internet und musste mit Bestürzung feststellen, dass auch die Amokläufer im amerikanischen Littleton von der Polizei als Brotkonsumenten eingestuft wurden!
Es ist also offensichtlich, dass Brot zur Verrohung von Menschen führen kann. Schon seit Jahrhunderten findet man Brotesser involviert in die schlimmsten Verbrechen.
Es ist an der Zeit Brot zu verbieten! Wer kann sein Kind noch ruhigen Gewissens auf die Straße lassen, solang das Brot in Deutschland nicht verboten wurde? Es ist eine Schande, dass erst wieder eine solch unmenschliche Tat auf die massiven Probleme, die vom Brotkonsum ausgehen, hinweisen muss.
Verwunderlich ist in diesem Zusammenhang, die mangelnde analytische Schärfe von führenden Politikern. Die sonst durch äusserste Kompetenz und ihren messerscharfen – ja geradezu rasierklingenscharfen – Verstand brillierenden Spitzenpolitiker, verschließen die Augen vor der Wahrheit. Deswegen fordere ich alle besorgten Mitmenschen auf, mit ihrem Namen für das Verbot von Brot einzustehen. Es ist an der Zeit etwas gegen diese haarsträubenden Missstände zu tun. Die Politik ist zum handeln aufgefordert, bevor der Brotkonsum aus noch mehr Menschen Gewaltverbrecher macht!
Doch nicht nur psychologische Schäden sind auf den Brotkonsum zurückzuführen. Führende Biologen haben erst vor kurzem bewiesen, dass bisher alle Menschen die Brot gegessen haben gestorben sind! Eine toxische Wirkung, die mit keiner bekannten Chemikalie vergleichbar ist. Brot ist tödlich!

www.verbietetbrot.de

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by Michael John Bertrand

FADE IN:

INT. CALL CENTRE–DAY

(A small phone CUBICLE in a small tech-support OFFICE. JEREMY is seated there, chatting with JASON, one CUBICLE over.)

JEREMY
…No, I haven’t. You?

JASON
I tried it for a few minutes at EB. It’s just a “Morrowind” wannabe.

JEREMY
Yeah, but “Morrowind” rocked.

JASON
I guess. Too complicated for me. I prefer my RPGs–

(Jason is interrupted when Jeremy’s PHONE RINGS.)

JEREMY
Whoops! Time to earn my Evercrack money. [mehr…]

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Eine Anspielung auf den zunehmenden Anglizismus in Firmen – „Oh Herr gib mir bitte meine Sprache zurück!„

Message from the CEO (Christmas Event Organizer): Dr. J. Christus v.
Bethlehem:

Also Kinder, ich bin jetzt im Urlaub. Aller Vorrausicht nach bin ich bis Weihnachten wieder da, aber die Vorbereitungen darauf sollten natürlich jetzt schon loslaufen:

Status:
Wie Weihnachten 2005 im Internet gezeigt hat, heißt Weihnachten nicht mehr Weihnachten, sondern X-mas, also muss der Weihnachtsmann entsprechend auch ab jetzt X-man heißen!

[mehr…]

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gefunden auf http://dell.skinit.com/