Scratchbook

Das Leben ist immer anders als die Realität.

Nein. Nein. Nein.

Claude, 11. Oktober 2011, 13:11 Uhr

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Was passiert, wenn studierte Enterprise-vergewaltigte OOP-Sektenmitglieder ihre Pattern-Ergüsse auf Javascript giessen?

Ich hoffe Ihr habt schon gegessen. Das folgende verdirbt Euch den Appetit…

Haltet Euch fest:

Genau das meine ich. Chunt kei Sau drus.

Getter…Setter…Iterator…Proxypättern… yeah motherfucker!

17’000 Zeilen Code. Alles in einer Datei. Und das Programm erzeugt folgende Ausgabe:

Hello World.

Verdammte Scheisse. Jetzt hab ich mich doch ausführlich über diese defekten Hirnstrukturen ausgelassen. Und: SIE MACHEN GENAU DAS!!?!

Ich zitiere 1:1 aus dem ursprünglichen Beitrag:

Aber nein, so geht das doch nicht. Was wir brauchen, sind möglichst komplizierte Strukturen und Muster, die überhaupt niemand mehr ausser der Autor selbst checkt, damits softwarearchitektonisch schön ist und die Wartbarkeit erhöht wird.

Und wenn man dann genug Singletons mit der Abstract Factory instanziiert hat, welche die Facade durch den Proxy decoraten, damit der Mediator den Observer nicht beim visiten des Mementos dependency-injected, dann kann das Data Access Object mit dem Plugin via Null Object Flyweight durch das Composite iterieren und das emitten, was man eigentlich ursprünglich wollte:

Hello World.

Dart. Ein Albtraum ist Wirklichkeit geworden.

DateImplementation$Dart.DateImplementation$$Factory = function(years, month, day, hours, minutes, seconds, milliseconds){
  return DateImplementation$Dart.DateImplementation$withTimeZone$18$Factory(years, month, day, hours, minutes, seconds, milliseconds, TimeZoneImplementation$Dart.TimeZoneImplementation$local$22$Factory());
}

Man hat eine Implementation. Für jedes Stäubchen. Und eine Factory. Und Funktionen mit gefühlt tausend Parametern.

Sogar für Vergleichsoperatoren gibt es eine Funktion:

Number.prototype.BIT_AND$operator = function(other){
  return native_NumberImplementation_BIT_AND.call(this, other);
}
 
HashMapImplementation$Dart._firstProbe$$member_ = function(hashCode, length_0){
  return BIT_AND$operator(hashCode, SUB$operator(length_0, 1));
}

Nein. Nein. Nein. Das darf doch alles nicht wahr sein!

Da hört man begeistert einem tollen Vortrag über Clean Code zu. Und dann Dart.
Sämtliche Anti-Patterns sind da vertreten.

Jetzt kommt aber das Beste. Der Schrott kommt tatsächlich von Google!

Dart: Google stellt moderne Javascript-Alternative vor
Google hat wie erwartet mit Dart eine neue Sprache zur strukturierten Webprogrammierung als Alternative zu Javascript vorgestellt. Entwickelt haben sie unter anderem V8-Entwickler Lars Bak und Gilad Bracha, Erfinder von Newspeak und Mitautor der Java-Spezifikation.

„Mitautor der Java-Spezifikation“ – alles klar. Das sieht man auf den ersten Blick, dass da dumme Java-Entwickler im Spiel sind. Neinnnnnnnn – und sie vergewaltigen Javascript! Neineineinnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!

Geht doch zurück in eure IDE. Macht weiter an euren 700-Terabyte-RAM-fressenden-Enterprise-Hostapplikationen. Zeichnet ERDs. Malt UML-Diagramme auf 1000 A0 Seiten. Macht was ihr wollt. Aber lasst bitte, bitte die Finger von Javascript!

Ein Zückerchen zum Schluss

Dart’s goals are:

Performance – Dart is designed with performance characteristics in mind, so that it is possible to create VMs that do not have the performance problems that all EcmaScript VMs must have.

Developer Usability – Dart is designed to keep the dynamic, easy-to-get-started, no-compile nature of Javascript that has made the web platform the clear winner for hobbyist developers.

Ability to be Tooled – Dart is designed to be more easily tooled (e.g. with optional types) for large-scale projects that require code-comprehension features such as refactoring and finding callsites. Dash, however, does not require tooling to be effective–small-scale developers may still be satisfied with a text editor.

Ah ja.

HashSetImplementation$Dart.prototype.filter$member = function(f){
  var dartc_scp$0 = {f:f};
  var dartc_scp$1;
  dartc_scp$1 = {};
  dartc_scp$1.result = HashSetImplementation$Dart.HashSetImplementation$$Factory(HashSetImplementation$Dart.$lookupRTT([RTT.getTypeArg(RTT.getTypeArgsFor(this, $cls('HashSetImplementation$Dart')), 0)]));
  this._backingMap$$getter_().forEach$named(1, $noargs, $bind(HashSetImplementation$Dart$filter$c0$_$26_6_2$Hoisted$named, $Dart$Null, dartc_scp$0, dartc_scp$1));
  return dartc_scp$1.result;
  dartc_scp$1 = $Dart$Null;
}

Schön wenn ihr euch da so profiliert, dass es niemand mehr begreift.

Ihr Arschlöcher.

https://gist.github.com/1277224

rakudave

Longneck. Das File isch der ultimativi Unit-Tescht. Das isch wie wenn si es Auto eifach us Prinzip teschthalber 100’000km ohni Wartig löhn lo ummefahre. Zem luege, obs usenander gheit. Nid zum vo A nach B cho. Also reg dich ab ^^

Claude

Whatever. Ich mags nid.

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