Grauenhafter Mord in Aesch

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Heute Morgen um Sieben wurde ich geweckt durch ein Geräusch. Ein Geräusch, hässlicher als jeder Albtraum, das einem das Blut in den Adern gefrieren lässt. Es ist das Brummen von Motorsägen.

Ich stand sofort auf, um der Sache auf den Grund zu gehen. Als ich aus dem Fenster sah, bot sich mir folgender Anblick:

Unsere geliebte Tanne, die uns seit der Geburt durch unser Leben begleitete, wurde gestern zum Tode verurteilt und wird heute auf eine grauenhafte Art und Weise ermordet. Die Auftragskiller trennen ihr mit Kettensägen die Gliedmassen einzeln vom Leib. Und ich muss mir dieses Trauerspiel auch noch anhören – die ganze Zeit!

Vorbei sind die Zeiten, an denen wir die Aussicht über Aesch geniessen konnten. Vorbei ist es mit Baumhütten bauen. Vorbei ist es mit Wireless-Antennen montieren, die auf Reinach funken könnten.

Aus und vorbei.

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Doch dieses Kettensägenmassaker lassen wir nicht ungerächt. Zum Glück haben wir noch Thunder und Vogelschrecks. Heute Nacht wird Aesch von gewaltigen Explosionen erschüttert.
DAS WERDET IHR NOCH BEREUEN, IHR VERFLUCHTEN TANNENMÖRDER!!!!!