[Gefangen]

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Hier ein paar Texte, die etwas Licht ins Dunkel bringen, warum die Dinge so sind und warum sie mich stören | gestört haben | immer noch stören (aber ich versuche mich auf die Vision, die Veränderung, die ich in der Welt sehen will, zu konzentrieren).

Schon 2006 regte ich mich über das Spiessbürgertum auf. Ich schrieb damals einen Text, der bis heute unveröffentlicht ist – aus guten Gründen… Aber Zwecks des Vergleichs – hier, voila:

(Achtung – ihr könntet euch angegriffen fühlen :D)

<braindump>

Warum habe ich solche Gedanken? Warum finden das alle toll, wenn man betrunken ist? Warum, gopferdammi, WARUM gehört es _zum guten Ton_ „mit eme Glaas Wyy“ anzustossen?
Abstossend.

Warum gehört es nicht zum guten Ton, seine Meinung zu äussern, und zwar fadegraad? Warum ist das politisch inkorrekt?
Ich bin immer das A****loch, das alles falsch macht.
Ich mag nicht saufen. Ich mag nicht zum guten Ton gehören.
Niemand schätzt was ich tue. Ich schätze nichts von all dem, was die anderen tun.

Was für eine verrückte Welt.

Ich bin mit meiner Meinung, meinem Verhalten, meiner Wesensart – allein.
Ich bin am wettern, wenn ich sehe, wie alle wie eine Schafherde das gleiche tun.
<schlaue Bücher>“Du sollst keine schlechten Gedanken haben“ – „Die Aussenwelt ist ein Spiegel deiner Innenwelt“</schlaue Bücher>
Ja ja, vielen Dank. Ich bin wohl einfach falsch.

(Der Gedankenkreisel würde noch weiterdrehen, aber wir brechen hier ab)

</braindump>

Und JETZT meine Damen und Herren – stosse ich im Deepweb auf diesen Text:

The life of the typical married American man

“He has a wife, some kids, a mortgaged house, two cars or SUV’s, many bills to pay, and a stable job to support all of it. Each morning, he and his wife get up, get the kids ready for school, make coffee, and then they both go to work (or at least he does). After a 8-9 hour workday, he comes home and tries to relax in front of the TV, but often has very little time to do so, because he might have to help make dinner, talk to his wife and kids (which usually consists of clicheish pep talk around the dinner table), help do household chores, help the kids with their homework, get the kids ready for bed, and then go to bed himself, often still exhausted. The next day, the same routine simply starts all over again. 
 
On weekends, he gets a little more freedom, but not by much. Instead, he has to spend a large part of the weekend catching up on household chores, cleaning the house, or doing yard work. If he can manage to do a family outing, it is often too stressful to enjoy. Not only does he have to constantly watch and discipline the kids from getting out of hand, but he has to think about his budget for the family outing, driving and planning where to go, humoring the kids, lecturing them and giving them clicheish pep talk, making sure his wife is pleased with the outing too, and making sure they get back home in time before the kids’ bedtime. That’s why these family outings are usually exhausting and more stressful than fun. 
 
Sometimes, he and his wife also go out to social events sponsored by schools, companies, churches or the community. But even then, these events tend to be rigid, routine, dull and clicheish. In addition, around the people at these events, he puts on a contrived pleasant face to be polite, regardless of whether he likes them or not, and others at the events do the same to him as well. People at these events don’t deeply enjoy them. Instead, they simply pretend to. Deep down, they know it is just a light distraction from the routine monotony of their daily lives.
 
In the background of all this are the constant pressures and demands of the bills he has to keep up with as well as the savings he has to allocate. He has to deal with the big house mortgage payments, utility bills, taxes, car insurance payments, medical insurance bills (unless his company pays all or most of it), food and gas expenditures, credit card bills, entertainment/luxury item expenditures, the needs and wants of his kids and wife, etc. In addition to all this, he has to also try to save up some money for his retirement or his kids’ college fund.
 
Each day that goes by, each week, each month, each year, etc. is pretty much like the above. That’s life for him. Eventually, he may start asking himself “Is this what life is all about? Is this all there is?” Then he may start feeling like a robot leadin chanized life with no freedom. Not only is he a slave to his company, but he is a slave to his wife, kids, house, cars and bills as well. Sadly he learns that there is no true freedom in all this. Not only is this life routine and stressful, but mind-numbing as well. Eventually, he may start to long for the life he had before when he was single and could do whatever he wanted without his current stresses that enslave him. He may long for the time when he was young and single and could choose from many paths in life without anyone tying him down, as well as his freedom to pursue or love conquests with new and exciting women. He may still love his wife and have affection for her, but the romance and passion may be long gone, and they stay together simply for financial commitments and for the sake of the kids. In fact, he may even start to envy the life of the traveling backpackers to overseas countries who, although are poor and on a budget, nevertheless live a life of adventure and mind-expanding freedom.
 
To cope with this mind numbing routine and stress, he may find ways to distract himself. He may seek acceptable forms of escape such as becoming a sports fan and watching football, baseball, or basketball. These spectator sports provide a temporary distraction from his inner emptiness. Or he may develop other hobbies such as reading, or becoming a handyman on cars and houses (like Tim Allen does on the sitcom Home Improvement). And of course, he must constantly convince himself that his life has meaning because he is doing what God and his country told him he is supposed to do by raising a family, and that it is all for the good of his kids and wife who are depending on him. No matter how dull, stressful, or mind numbing his life is, that’s what he has got to tell himself every day in order to tolerate and endure his conditions.“

*KLINGELINGELING* OMG. KOMMT UNS DAS BEKANNT VOR? 😀 *glitzer*

Ich kann gar nicht genug oft betonen, wie GEIL ich dieses Deepweb finde.

Hier tummeln sich Gedanken, die ich tief im innern auch schon mal gedacht habe. Da stosse ich endlich mal auf Gleichgesinnte. Willkommen in meiner Welt.

Jetzt weiss ich auch, was das alles bedeutet, was ich damals über die Normalbürger geschrieben habe und warum ich die nicht mag:

Ich will frei sein.
Sie – sind nicht frei.

Das verursacht Reibung. Ich würde gerne mehr freie Menschen sehen, die sich nicht nach diesem Skript verhalten und in dem System agieren.
Aber ich sehe sie nicht und das macht mich sauer. Mein Wunschbild, wie die Menschen sein könnten, existierte nur in mir. Da draussen ist die Gefangenschaft und Sklaverei.

Es gibt so viele Leute auf der Welt und so wenig Menschen.
-Anonymous

Befreit euch endlich! Es gefällt euch ja auch nicht. Ihr seid gefangen. Aber jeder behauptet, er finde das toll, wie die Dinge so sind, und man könne ja eh nichts daran ändern. BULLSHIT! Wir ändern die Welt, jetzt. Indem wir einfach nicht mehr so weiterleben wie bisher.

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Eins ist sicher:
„Ich will die Welt verändern“ sagt man nicht _einfach mal so_, weil’s grad in ist und schick tönt.
Wenn man den Satz in sich trägt: „Ich will die Welt verändern“, dann hat das tiefgreifende psychologische und soziale Konsequenzen. Man ist die Veränderung und mag das bestehende nicht besonders. Das bestehende ist natürlich in der Mehrzahl und so wird man automatisch zum Sonderling.

Ach.