Scratchbook

Das Leben ist immer anders als die Realität.

Aus Träumen ausbrechen

Claude, 11. November 2010, 08:54 Uhr

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Ein Eintrag in frühen Morgenstunden. Man sollte ja Träume möglichst bald aufschreiben, sonst verfliegen sie…

Ich befinde mich auf dem Gelände der Sekundarschule. Dort wo ich aufgewachsen bin. Aber es ist niemand aus meiner Sekundarschulzeit da – alles ’neue‘ Leute, niemand aus der aktuellen Realität. Aber doch irgendwie alle vertraut… Ob das wohl Leute sind, die ich irgendwann mal noch treffen werde? Von dort könnte das Gefühl kommen, „ah, dich hab‘ ich doch schonmal gesehen. Aber wo?“

Jemand hält mich fest.
Ich reisse mich los.
Sein Hemd reisst. O oh…

Er nimmt mich mit in die Umkleidekabine, wo die anderen warten. Ich stehe in der Ecke, möchte wieder raus – *schubs* – „Du bleibst hier.“
Jemand aus der St. Gallen-Realität ist anwesend. Seltsam… Das kann irgendwie nicht sein. In dieser Umgebung?

Ich realisiere, dass ich träume. Die einzige Möglichkeit, aus dieser Lage herauszukommen, ist aufzuwachen.
Also aufwachen – *anstreng* – 3…2…1…komm schon! Ich schliesse die Augen. Ich träume – aufwachen. Ich kneife mich selber in die Backe. Aua!

Ich wache im alten Zimmer meines Bruders auf. Ein Batterieladegerät liegt am Boden. Alles schaut ‚real‘ aus, wie gerade aufgewacht.
Ich gehe kurz auf’s WC, dann komme ich wieder zurück. Aber Moment. Ich war nie in diesem Zimmer einquartiert. Träume ich etwa noch? Wie kann ich das feststellen?

Ich rattere sämtliche Tricks durch, die ich bis jetzt kenne.
Jemand hat mir mal gesagt, in Träumen würden wir keine Gesichter von Menschen sehen. Ich SAH aber direkt in die Gesichter der Menschen in der Umkleidekabine. Ganz deutlich.
Ok, nächster Trick. Aus dem Film „Inception“ (der übrigens sehr empfehlenswert ist): Sich fragen: „Wie bin ich hierher gekommen?“. Ich bin aus einem Traum aufgewacht. Ja super – dann könnte ich ja überall sein, wenn ich gerade aus einem Traum aufgewacht bin! Überall, wo ein Bett ist.

Verdammt. Bin ich wach? Ich weiss es nicht…

Ich wache auf – im Bett meiner Wohnung in St. Gallen. Kurze Zeit später setzen die Gefühle dieser Realität ein: Ach ja, ich war gerade an einem supertollen Lab, wo wir eine coole Hardwarebastelei gemacht haben.

Das mit den einrastenden Realitätsgefühlen nach dem Aufwachen habe ich öfters schon erlebt. Früher mal: „Ah ja, ich wurde gerade betrieben“ – grrr – der Stein im Bauch macht sich breit, der Tag ist am Arsch. 😛
Oder auch: Hui, war das eine doofe Realität, von der ich grad geträumt hab. Aufwachen – „aah, alles in Ordnung hier!“ 🙂

Ich glaube jetzt bin ich wach. Aber warum ist jetzt hier Schluss? Woher will ich denn wissen, das DAS hier nicht auch ein Traum ist? Mein Unterbewusstsein scheint offenbar die ‚endgültige‘ Realität zu kennen, und auch, in welcher Zeit ich da gerade eingerastet bin. Wir selbst haben keine Chance, das herauszufinden.

Woher weiss denn ein Betriebssystem, dass es virtualisiert ist? Höchstens an der komischen Netzwerkkarte… Und woher weiss es, dass es nicht bereits ein zweites mal virtualisiert wurde? Eine VMWare in einer VMWare. Auf einem Mac.
Schlussendlich sitzen wir davor und beobachten das Ganze. Aber wer sitzt vor uns und beobachtet uns?

Mir schiesst dieser Satz durch den Kopf:

„Hattest du schon mal einen Traum, Neo, der Dir vollkommen real schien? Was wäre, wenn du aus diesem Traum nicht mehr aufwachst? Woher würdest du wissen, was Traum ist und was Realität?“

Ich brauche auch sowas wie ein Totem wie im Film Inception. Ich weiss, dass man mit dem Unterbewusstsein in Symbolen kommunizieren kann. Jetzt suche ich ein Symbol, welches mich sofort aufwachen lässt…

Heilpflanzen in der EU bald illegal

Claude, 8. November 2010, 23:18 Uhr

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Ich kann gar nicht soviel essen wie ich kotzen möchte.

Laut Europäischer Richtlinie zur Verwendung traditioneller und pflanzlicher medizinischer Produkte (THMPD) wird der Verkauf und die Anwendung von Naturprodukten stark eingeschränkt.

Begründung:

Es handelt sich um eine Richtlinie der EU zur Vereinheitlichung des Zulassungsverfahrens für traditionelle Kräuterzubereitungen, die medizinisch eingesetzt werden. Damit werden Naturprodukte zu medizinischen Produkten umdeklariert, die zugelassen werden müssen. In allen EU Länder wird es dann verboten sein Heilkräuter oder Pflanzen zu verkaufen, die keine Lizenz haben.
Naturstoffe , denen man eine Heilwirkung zuschreibt werden nicht mehr als Lebensmittel eingestuft, sondern als Arznei. Nur was man patentieren und mit einer Schutzmarke im Handel monopolisieren kann ist erwünscht. Was einfach in der Natur wächst ist illegal.
Unsere Gesundheit wird dadurch nicht geschützt, sondern es werden die Umsätze und Profite der Grosskonzerne gesichert.
Wir sollten selber entscheiden was gut für uns ist und welche Mittel wir nehmen, ob chemische Bomben oder sanfte Naturheilmittel.
Dadurch erfahren auch Krankenkassen eine Erleichterung weil immer mehr Leute dazu übergehen, Naturprodukte ohne Rezeptschein zu kaufen.

Ja genau. Die Natur kriminalisieren. Damit ihr uns mit eurem Chemiescheiss vergiften könnt.

1. Der ist für euch. Scheiss EU, und scheiss Pharmalobby:

Ihr verdammten Pissköpfe. Manchmal bereue ich’s wirklich, habe ich Informatiker gelernt und nicht Sprengmeister. Zum Glück braucht’s zum Amokschützen keine Ausbildung. Irgendwann… Tu‘ ich euch weh.

2. An alle: Unterzeichnet diese Petition: [Link]

Real Life Popups

Claude, 7. November 2010, 04:17 Uhr

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Liebes Tagebuch

Ich war gerade an einer Hochzeitsparty. War toll.
Aber die Menschen sind komisch. Die stellen alle immer wieder die gleichen Fragen: „Wie geht es dir?“. Und Leute, die mich zum ersten mal sehen, fragen dann meistens zusätzlich: „Was machst du?“

„Gut“, antworte ich. Ich weiss gar nicht was die Frage überhaupt soll. Klar geht’s mir gut, ich habe gerade massig das Dessertbuffet degustiert.
Aber ich würde auch „gut“ antworten, wenn’s mir schlecht geht. Weil nach einem „gut“ ist meistens Ruhe – ein „schlecht“ müsste ich garantiert noch begründen, dann wird sicher nachgefragt. Das ist mühsam und unnötig.

Ganz anders Kinder. Da hatte es ein Kind an dieser Hochzeitsparty, das kam einfach so auf mich zu und hat mich angesprungen. Ich hab‘ dann zurückgepufft und wir haben uns kurz durch die Küche gejagt =)
Das war sehr erfrischend.
Kinder wollen spielen und scheren sich nicht drum, wie’s mir grad geht und was ich so mache. Ich kann einfach so sein wie ich bin und wie ich mich gerade fühle, ohne zuerst die dämlichen Kontrollfragen beantworten zu müssen.

Ich steh‘ am Aperotisch. Hoffentlich kennt mich niemand. Nein, du kennst mich nicht – wegschauen. Es kommt auf mich zu, oh nein… „Hoi Claude, wie geht’s dir?“ Zu spät. Ich spiele mein Tonband ab. Was mach ich? Mal überlegen… Ach ja, ich wohne in St. Gallen. Allein. Und ich bin Informatiker. Webentwickler. Bei Namics.
So. *zurückspul* – der nächste bitte. Ihr seid echt öde!

Ich weiss jetzt, warum ich mit Maschinen besser klarkomm als mit Menschen. Die Maschine kümmert sich genau so einen Dreck darum, wie es mir geht und was ich so mache. Ich kann die einfach so einschalten und benutzen. Damit spielen, was kreatives damit anstellen, Hackedihack – und sie dann wieder ausschalten. Das kann ich einfach so tun, ohne befürchten zu müssen, ob sie ächt schlecht über mich denkt, wenn ich mal was verbock.

Aber ich hab‘ glaubi eine neue Leidenschaft entdeckt: Ich durfte die Lichtsteuerung für die Bühne übernehmen. Ziemlich cool, ein Setup für Sketches und Rede, und ein episches für Musikbeiträge – und dann mit dem Lichtcrossfader hin- und herswitchen. Gefällt!
So konnte ich doch noch was nützlich nerdiges tun an diesem Abend, die Leute ins rechte Licht rücken und für die optische Stimmung sorgen. Ja, Lichttechnik macht wirklich Spass!

Zehntausend Anfragen pro Sekunde.

Claude, 6. November 2010, 02:35 Uhr

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Kunde möchte eine voraussichtlich stark frequentierte Seite mit Typo3 bei sich hosten.
Erwartet werden 5000 Benutzer gleichzeitig – die geschätzt alle 10 Sekunden klicken. Ergibt 500 Requests/s. Wir sollen die Architektur vorschlagen.

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about:software

Claude, 5. November 2010, 17:06 Uhr

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Man sollte schlechte Software nicht mit top Hardware erschlagen.
Sondern schlechte Hardware mit top Software.

Was ist denn überhaupt Realität?

Claude, 2. November 2010, 19:28 Uhr

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„Eine Realität nur für sich allein schaffen“, wiederholte Veronika. „Was ist denn überhaupt Realität?“

„Sie ist das, von dem die meisten glauben, dass sie so sein sollte. Nicht unbedingt besser, nicht logischer, doch den kollektiven Wünschen angepasst.
Sehen Sie, was ich da um den Hals trage?“

„Eine Krawatte.“

„Sehr gut. Ihre Antwort ist logisch, kohärent, die eines ganz normalen Menschen: eine Krawatte!

Ein Verrückter würde jedoch sagen, dass ich ein buntes, lächerliches, nutzloses, auf komplizierte Weise geschlungenes Stück Stoff um den Hals trage, das die Beweglichkeit des Kopfes einschränkt und uns zwingt, tiefer zu atmen, damit Luft in die Lungen gelangt. Wenn ich in der Nähe eines Ventilators bin und nicht aufpasse, kann dieses Stück Stoff mich erwürgen.

Wenn ein Verrückter mich fragt, wozu eine Krawatte gut ist, muss ich ihm antworten: zu überhaupt nichts. Nicht einmal zum Verschönern, weil sie heute zum Symbol der Versklavung, der Macht, der Distanz geworden ist. Die Nützlichkeit der Krawatte besteht darin, nach Hause zu kommen und das Gefühl zu genießen, dass wir uns von etwas befreit haben, von dem wir nicht einmal wissen, was es ist.

Doch rechtfertigt dieses Gefühl der Erleichterung die Krawatte?

Nein. Dennoch wird, wenn ich einen Verrückten und einen normalen Menschen frage, was das ist, derjenige als gesund erachtet, der mir antwortet: eine Krawatte. Gleichgültig, wer es richtig sieht oder wer recht hat.“

Gesichtserkennung – mit Javascript :)

Claude, 1. November 2010, 23:33 Uhr

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(Demo)


(Demo)

…oder sucht euch gleich selbst ein Gesicht aus.

Beeindruckend, was man mittlerweile so machen kann. Soll niemand mehr behaupten, Javascript sei keine reinrassige Programmiersprache!

Fuck you and your fucking facebook & twitter

Claude, 1. November 2010, 23:00 Uhr

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😀

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(Quelle)